Shaley Howard’s “Excuse Me, Sir” is an honest & revealing account of the struggles of growing up feeling different while searching for answers in drugs and alcohol. One can see the judgement, denial and pain for the “tomboy” in this story, trying to feel accepted by family, friends and self! Shaley’s search for safety can resonate with anyone who has ever been bullied or called-out because of who they are. Her struggles, failures, and “a-ha” moments in this book could help save a life and save relationships, and it is this honesty that I appreciated from page one. -Christine Havrilla, songwriter/singer/musician

Shaley Howard excels at telling her own story of being closeted and addicted, offering hard truths along with a healthy dose of humor. She reminds us that even in the grip of life’s toughest moments, we can still laugh, and find it in ourselves to come back to the life we deserve to live. -Whitney Otto, Bestselling author of How to Make an American Quilt

The pressure to be “normal,” and by that I mean normatively gendered and straight, can be completely overwhelming for kids who perceive their difference, as Shaley Howard’s memoir deftly reveals. Shaley recognized that she was a lesbian early on. And not just a lesbian, but a butch lesbian. She describes the bullying, both explicit and subtle, that she endured as a kid. My favorite line: “I was living in a gay version of the Salem Witch Trials.” And just like at Salem, where the surest way to avoid an accusation of witchcraft was to accuse someone else, Shaley heartbreakingly details how she tried to keep up the straight girl facade, often leaning into the homophobic slurs that surrounded her daily. Happily, after years of struggle, including drug and alcohol addiction and recovery, she embraces all aspects of her authentic butch self, much to the reader’s delight. - Elizabeth Reis, historian and professor of gender and medical ethics at the Macaulay Honors College, City University of New York

Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch arrives at the perfect time in our history. The details shared describe experiences many of us can relate to and gain power in feeling seen and thus, understood. Finding strength through struggle isn’t easy and Shaley’s ability to guide us through her experiences with thoughtfulness, transparency, accountability and humor make this not only an enjoyable read, but an important one. While the journey to fully embrace who we are can be arduous, sharing her story will certainly make it easier for others. -Kevin Cook/Poison Waters of Darcelle XV

Goodreads

“Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch is a soul stirring narrative that addresses many facets of growing up in the 70's. Shaley shares her deeply personal experiences with us that include the struggles with being a closeted lesbian, drug and alcohol addictions and surviving a troubled childhood. Her story is told in a relatable way, with hope, humor and growth. It is a journey that reaches out to all of us and provides a deeper understanding of personal and societal issues and gives us the much needed inspiration to deal with and overcome these challenges. I strongly recommend this as a read for everyone.”

“Shaley Howard’s ‘Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch’ is one of those books that will pull you to the extremes of many emotions. Sadness for her finding false safety in closeted life, happiness for her finding love and acceptance. Fear of her losing her life to the beast that is alcohol and opioid addiction, joy in her ability to triumph over both. Tears for the suffering she has gone through, laughter in how she turns so much of it on it’s head with her humor. This memoir — yes, likely headed for a banned list or ten — has the ability to provide guidance for anyone who is navigating addiction and LGBTQIA2S+ life or is a parent to, friend of, in any way involved with someone who is."

Amazon Reviews

“Shaley Howard’s memoir, her resilience, and her determination to make a difference, inspire me. Her writing and advocacy shine through in her memoir. I feel fortunate to have briefly crossed paths with her through our dog Sasha but had no idea how much she had been dealing with at that time. While reading, I was reminded of one of Barbara Kingsolver’s characters who compared overcoming adversity to surviving a car wreck. “You got the wreck you didn’t ask for. And you walked out of it.” This memoir has the power to lighten the load for all others emerging from wrecks they didn’t ask for. Thank you Shaley!”

“I bought Shaley Howard's memoir after attending her book reading in Portland. I was surprised to have connected with the story as much as I did. She does a good job of drawing the reader into her experience, and writes about her life with candor, humor, and high self-awareness about her weaknesses and flaws as well as her qualities and strengths. It's refreshing to read an autobiographical work written by somebody who knows themselves as intimately as she does. The pacing is good and the structure sound. I think anybody who has ever struggled in their coming out - no matter the what, where, when, and how - will find at least one thing to connect to in this book. I was surprised at how deeply so much of her story resonated with me, even though our life stories and coming out stories are so different. Excuse me, Sir is a deeply moving work, and easy to read. Even the painful parts.”

“The author’s conversational style gently takes the reader’s hand as if to say, “Let me show you how it all works out,” something every inner child can appreciate. Howard deftly balances the brutality of living in the closet in the late 20th century with the exhilaration of self-discovery. With humor, she cautions us to remove the rose-colored glasses when looking through the rear-view mirror. Her vulnerability reminds us just how dangerous it can be to live a life anything other than your fully authentic self.”

“This poignant narrative serves as an essential beacon, illuminating the path towards a more inclusive world. It beckons us to recognize the valor within the LGBTQ community during an era bereft of role models and barren of support, a time when their struggles were profound. Within these pages, we bear witness to remarkable individuals who surmounted insurmountable odds, triumphing over adversity with grace and resilience. This literary tapestry fosters the profound belief that, in our own lives, we too can rise above the challenges the world may present.”